.Editor's Details: The adhering to is actually the message of a letter coming from Trip 3 Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Retired), reflecting on the activities of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not written significantly concerning specifics of this purpose during the month I've been actually here, mostly for 2 reasons: the initial being that there has actually been actually incredibly little bit of opportunity to accomplish that sort of creating, and also second of all due to the fact that I'm uncertain how pleasant I am actually sharing thoughts I show family and friends along with the remainder of the world.Effectively, clearly the globe altered today. What I mention or carry out is actually incredibly small compared to the importance of what took place to our nation today when it was struck through ... by whom? Revolutionaries is actually all we know, I think. Tough to understand at whom to direct our rage and fear ...I had actually simply finished a number of duties this morning, the most lengthy being the physical examinations of all workers members. In an exclusive discussion complying with that, the flight plastic surgeon told me they were actually possessing a quite bad day on the ground. I possessed no suggestion ...He defined the condition to me as absolute best he recognized it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually amazed, then terrified. My very first thought and feelings was that this wasn't an actual chat, that I was still listening to among my Tom Clancy tapes. It only didn't seem achievable on this incrustation in our nation. I couldn't even envision the particulars, even before the headlines of additional damage began can be found in.Vladimir came over fairly swiftly, sensing that something quite serious was being explained. I swayed Michael into the module also. They were additionally astonished as well as stunned. After we signed off, I made an effort to reveal to Vladimir and Michael as finest I could the potential measurement of this particular show of horror in downtown New york and at the Pentagon. They accurately understood and also were actually very understanding.I browsed the World Chart on the computer system to see where over the planet we were as well as saw that our experts were happening southeast away from Canada and also will be actually passing over New England in a handful of moments. I whized around the station till I discovered a window that will provide me a perspective of NYC and also took hold of the closest electronic camera. It took place to be a video camera, and also I was appearing southern coming from the home window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to be to have a strange flower to it at the foundation of the pillar that was streaming south of the urban area. After reading through one of the news articles our team just received, I feel we were checking out NY around the amount of time of, or quickly after, the crash of the 2nd high rise. Exactly how terrible ...I swung the electronic camera during the East Shore to the south to find if I could possibly see some other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, but nothing at all showed up.It was actually quite challenging to think of job after that, though our team possessed some to accomplish, but on the following orbit our company traversed the US more southern. All 3 of us were actually operating a couple of cameras to try to acquire viewpoints of The big apple or even Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, however no certain source might be found. Everything looked amazing coming from two to three hundred kilometers away. I can't visualize the terrible scenes on the ground.Apart from the mental influence of our country being actually dealt with and also 1000s of our consumers as well as possibly some close friends being actually eliminated, the absolute most overwhelming feeling being actually where I am actually is among seclusion.Next day ... I suspect the tiredness as well as emotional pressure acquired the most ideal of me. I could not remain awake as well as remain to compose. Today was actually still complicated, but our experts began obtaining even more relevant information, plus our team possessed the respect of chatting directly with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, that ensured our company that the ground groups would certainly continue to operate as well as ensure our safety, and also the secure function of the Place. Our company also talked to our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, who added that the companions in the Plan are actually all entirely dedicated to carrying on risk-free procedures and also support. These were never inquiries for me. I know all these people! The ground groups have actually been actually surprisingly helpful, incredibly understanding of the effect of the news, and have attempted to become as valuable as feasible. They have all been actually extremely specialist as well as focused though I can not visualize the diversion of this particular kind of information can be found in as well as the notion that federal government structures could be in jeopardy. They never ever avoided a beat, even when transferring nerve center. And also a team of senior workers and buddies offered our company a fairly detailed rundown on what was actually known and also what was actually being done in the federal government and at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually quite practical and type of them to accomplish in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has likewise been actually helpful as well as useful, making an effort to uplink news articles when our very own assets were actually inoperable, and pointing out kind terms ...My crewmates have been great, as well. They understand it is actually been actually a difficult day for me as well as the people on the ground, and also they've tried to be as also keeled and also handy as achievable. Michael even repaired me my favorite Borscht soup for dinner. As well as they provide me lots of area to assume when I needed it. They are really supportive as well as naturally outraged at whoever would do this.I recognize plenty of individuals in Washington, plenty of folks who take a trip to DC and also NYC, many that are actually pilots, that I really felt sure I will get at the very least a handful of items of bad news over the upcoming handful of times. I got the 1st one today when I learned that the Leader of the American Airlines plane that reached the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I encountered Chic during the course of cadet summer when we remained in the D&B all together, and also our team possessed tons of training class with each other. I can not picture what he must of gone through, and also currently I hear that he may have increased even further than our experts can easily also consider by perhaps stopping his aircraft from being actually the one to deal with the White House. What an awful reduction, yet I'm sure Chic was actually battling fearlessly throughout. And also splits don't move the same precede ...It is actually hard to define just how it feels to become the only American totally off the planet at a time like this. The emotion that I ought to exist along with each one of you, taking care of this, assisting in some way, is actually frustrating. I know that our company are on the threshold (or beyond) of a dreadful switch in the past history of the world. A lot of things will certainly never coincide once more after September 11, 2001. Not just for the 1000s and also hundreds of people directly affected through these ghastly process of violence, but perhaps for everybody. We will locate ourselves really feeling differently regarding loads of traits, including most likely space expedition, sadly.It is actually unpleasant to view smoke cigarettes pouring from wounds in your very own nation coming from such an amazing viewpoint. The duality of being on a spacecraft dedicated to boosting everyday life on the planet and viewing lifestyle being actually ruined by such deliberate, horrible acts is jolting to the mind, despite that you are. As well as the know-how that every thing will be actually various than when our experts launched by the time we land is a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our country and in our leadership that we are going to do whatever achievable to much better guard her and also our families, as well as to carry compensation wherefore has actually been performed. I have assurance that the really good people at NASA are going to perform whatever essential to proceed our goal safely and securely as well as return our company properly at the correct time. And I skip each one of you very much. I can not be there with you personally, and our company have a long way to visit accomplish our mission, however be actually specific that my center is actually with you, and also know you are in my prayers.Humbly, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the last character ... The good news is, it is actually been actually a busy full week up here. And also to confirm that, like our nation, our experts are actually advancing our intended course along with service customarily (as long as feasible). Tonight the most recent add-on to the station, the Russian Docking Chamber are going to be actually launched coming from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Saturday night (United States time), it will dock along with us, at a port certainly never used before on the low point edge of the Service Module. This brand new component will definitely offer our company one more spot to dock a Development or Soyuz as well as will certainly give a huge airlock with pair of able to be used hatches for administering EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which our company will certainly do a few of prior to we get home.The complication prior to in dealing with recently was insufficient headlines. The complication now is too much. It arrived simultaneously when e-mail was actually brought back, and there is actually insufficient time to read everything! Plus it's as well tough to deal with all of it immediately. But I value acquiring it, and also I really appreciate the great characters of help and also companionship I am actually getting.Our experts are succeeding on board, acquiring our job performed, and also talking about points. Final night our company had a lengthy dialogue over dinner about the value of these celebrations, the possible actions to follow, as well as what ought to be actually performed. After supper, Michael challenged informing me that every e-mail he received coming from good friends in Russia claimed primarily to tell me just how regretful they were actually that this occurred, stretching their acknowledgements, and also inquiring how I was actually performing. Vladimir taught me the Russian term for "acknowledgements" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Celebrity Area. (Both the Russian and also the English phrases are considerably extremely lengthy to verbalize conveniently.) Incredibly types people.For the last two days, the Russian MCC has actually been good enough to transfer real-time broadcasts of broadcast news about the celebration and linked accounts, to see to it I was actually well notified. Every professional who has started free throw line to cover an operation or an issue contends some aspect expanded introductions to me along with kind words. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that due to the wedding of remembrance in the US, all the time people had been carrying flowers and also edging all the walls of the United States consulate in Moscow, and this evening they were actually igniting candle lights in the street outside the embassy. Exactly how the globe has actually altered.People just about everywhere seem to acknowledge the senselessness and also scary within this strike. And also the enormous loss. Moscow has actually handled these sort of concerns in the last handful of years with home and train battles, so they are actually as nervous to get rid of this danger as we are actually. But all-time low product line is actually that there are excellent individuals everywhere that desire to live in calmness. I go through that a child inquired, "United States is so good to various other countries, our experts always help every person, exactly how can they despise us so much?".I really hope the instance of cooperation and also depend on that this spacecraft plus all the people in the system display daily will someday motivate the remainder of the globe to operate the same way. They must!However, we won't be actually piloting over the United States during the time people are lighting candle lights. Don't understand if we could possibly see that anyhow. We carried out, nonetheless, observe a very unique as well as stunning view a few moments ago: the launch of our Docking Area on a Soyuz enhancer. Our team were eclipsing it and it appeared about 3 minutes after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sunshine struck our station, so it was actually still unaware. It appeared like a sizable comet with a straight, large rear silhouetted versus the darker earth below. In spite of some bad illumination for some time as the sunshine hit our window at a reduced angle, I took care of some online video of it as first our team passed the spacecraft, and afterwards watched it begin to catch up as it got height and also velocity. I recorded until major engine deadline as well as enhancer splitting up took place equally as our experts approached daybreak on the Mountain ranges. A remarkable sight in an extraordinary week ...Life takes place, also precede. Our experts're right here to stay ... Frank.